AKA ‘Stop focussing on the things that make you miserable and start noticing the beauty in the world, you twat’.
Okay, that may be a little harsh on myself, but let’s face it. Sometimes I can be a twat who gets so tired and run down just coping with each day that I forget to do the things that help me stay strong and cope with each day because I’m too tired to do them. Mindfulness and grounding. How on earth did I manage to lose them from my life when I needed them the most?
So in the spirit of forgiving myself for being a twat, how about I call this one
‘When things get tough, the tough get grounded.’
And not by my mother any more, so that’s a bonus.
Life is imperfect and it doesn’t always go to plan. But even in the imperfection there can be beauty, peace and a generous amount of laughter. Even if it takes a conscious effort to create it all.
I’m sitting here on an old worn bench by the lake trying to ground and centre. The last couple of years have not been the most fun for me, but I’ve come out of it with a strength I didn’t know I possessed and some new friends I am blessed to have crossed paths with. I may be suffering from exhaustion with a body that is breaking down, but my mind managed to stay stronger than I thought possible through it all.
There are swans of the water and droplets of dew on the grass. The sun glints and dances on the ripples of the lake and a magpie with a fluffy undercarriage is warbling its song a few feet in front of me. The skyline is a juxtaposition of hills and high rises.
I’m trying not to be disappointed in myself for losing all the mindful habits I had worked so hard to gain a few years previously. Trying to be kind to myself and remind myself that I got through the draining year the best way I knew how.
I feel the wind on my skin and my feet are tingling as I’ve just finished walking. The park bench is old and the worn wooden surface is rough under my hands. As the breeze blows my hair tickles my face.
I’ve walked away from a situation that was not good for me and I’m determined to start this new adventure in the way I intend to continue. Mindful, grounded, whimsical and at peace within myself. Too much of me has become buried underneath poor coping mechanisms and the desire to rest all the time.
A symphony of birdsong surrounds me, the traffic is a distant hum and the breeze rustles the leaves.
It feels good to shed the bad habits I had taken on over the last six months. I started my new life adventure with a cheeky, topless,midnight-swim in our pool. Try not to picture that. Unless you’re new here and you think I look like a young Carrie Fisher. Then totally picture that. It’s how I’m choosing to believe it looked.
I knew I’d regret it if I chickened out, afraid that someone would judge me for it. I’ve always struggled with body positivity and I really wanted to step into the future comfortable in my own skin. Actually, pretend I didn’t say the Carrie Fisher thing. I looked fucking amazing just as I am. My scars show the battles I’ve won and my thighs show the food I’ve enjoyed.
2. The dew on the damp earth smells sweet and there is a lack of stench emanating from the poorly maintained lake (I’m looking at you Wyong Shire Council)
I’m on my way to being me again. The more I centre, the more I realise it is not going to be as difficult a journey back to a Mindful Mindset as I had thought it would be.
1. I can taste the plastic of my water bottle as I drink.
Grounding is a fantastic tool in our arsenal against anxiety. And while no one way works for everyone, anchoring myself in the present works well for me because my mind has a nasty habit of trying to sabotage my happiness and peace by presenting me with theoretical problems that need solving or rehashing uncomfortable situations and replaying them over and over.