I called my friend in another office to ask her a very important grammar question, because you don’t want internal emails to Head Office to go out without proofing them first. That’s just unprofessional, People! And I’m all about looking professional. That’s why I’m the boss. No really.
“Okay. Important Question. You know what a stickler I am for grammar rules. Do you think prostitutey has an E in it or just a Y?”
“Ummmm… That’s one of those words I have to see written down. Gimme a sec. <scribes silently> It definitely has an E in it.”
“Yeah, cause you only drop the E when you add ING, not when you add Y.”
“Yeah. And IE just looks funny. <starts giggling> You need to write that down. Look at Prostitutie with an IE written down. Are you doing it?”
“Yeah? It looks wrong. Its definitely an EY.”
“No but with an IE it looks all cute. Like it might be a lip gloss flavour.”
“Eewww Noone wants lip gloss that salty and white.”
“Nooooo. Like Lip Smackers Prostitutie Fruity. I’d buy that. It sounds delicious and fun.”
<disolves into laughter>
And while I’m sure that prostitutes and flavour derivatives thereof are both delicious* and fun, I am not so sure that it is time for them to be on the supermarket shelves.
*in a completely non-cannibalistic way. Please don’t eat people. Well, do. But only in the behind-closed-doors kind of way. But now I think about it, cannibals probably don’t leave the front door open when they are cooking dinner. No one wants to see you adding paprika to your great Aunt Ruth who ended up in your favourite goulash recipe because she gave you yet another ugly christmas sweater. I think I’ve put too much thought in to this already. So in summation: Eating people is only for sexy times. Not for dinner times. This is an explicit disclaimer to absolve myself of any involvement or responsibility in your freaky and completely illegal canabal parties.